Do you ever feel like Alice in Wonderland?
Except, the ‘Wonderland’ here is your mind, and it’s not so wonderful.
Do you sometimes try to figure things out so much that you don’t actually figure things out, you just feel more overwhelmed?
‘It’s so confusing to me when I try to figure it out, it’s like walking into a labyrinth that doesn’t have an exit, it’s all a dead end’.
Does that sound familiar to you?
Why do we try to figure things out? Maybe it’s to feel that we have some sense of control over our situation?
It can be so easy to get stuck in the labyrinths in our minds and overthink, think, think.
Is there something you are trying to figure out at the moment and you feel you’re not getting anywhere?
Taking a step back and learning to observe ourselves and the situation will create some space to actually figure it out, or we will realize we don’t need to figure it out (unless it is an emergency situation).
So how do we learn to observe ourselves and the situation?
I mean surely we need to be in the situation to deal with it and not waste time by standing back and just looking at it, right, isn’t that counter-intuitive?
Let’s look at the word observe, it comes from the Latin ob, which means in front of or before, and servare, which means to look at or keep safe, these form the word observare, meaning ‘watch over, note, heed, look to, attend to, guard, regard, comply with’ (Source: https://www.etymonline.com/word/observe).
By practicing the observer awareness we learn to look at the situation, it doesn’t mean we are avoiding the situation or ‘not dealing’ with it, it helps us gain more clarity because when we get caught up in the process of trying to figure it out we get distracted by all the emotions and thoughts that come up from all the effort – we exhaust ourselves.
Picture this:
You have a situation, and it’s causing a lot of confusion, anxiety, and you need to figure this out!
See yourself standing at the entrance of a labyrinth (the said situation) – but don’t walk in…stop for a moment…
Just see your twists and turns, you don’t have to walk them.
This will take practice (using mental imagery will help) because we are on autopilot most of the time, and by the time we catch ourselves, we are already halfway in the labyrinth and lost.
The more we practice the observer awareness and catch ourselves – ‘Oh, I am heading down there again, let me stop and look at what’s before me‘ – the more clarity we will gain. Remember, our thoughts will have a strong pull, and we will get drawn in and try to figure things out.
I hope this helps in some way, and remember it takes practice and patience to cultivate observer awareness.