In a simple definition, the word resilience comes from the Latin resiliens and resilire, which means to rebound or recoil. The word is joined by re, which means ‘back’ and salire, which means ‘to jump’ or ‘leap’.
Collectively, the world is going through a lot, and so with each individual; everyone has something they are trying to deal with, wait for or sort out. We are all challenged to ‘jump back’ from the changes in front of us, almost like rubber bands, or as they say, ‘bounce back’.
It is a time that calls for great resilience emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Our emotions and thoughts are stretched to their limits, well so it seems, but it is up to us to determine how stretched we want these to be, and how we will ‘jump back’ or ‘rebound’ from the stretch.
Psychologist, Martin Seligman, proposes a way for us to enhance our resilience, and this is done by shifting our perspective. The way we look at things can change our emotions and thoughts, and ultimately our experiences. Let’s take a look at the 3 P’s (to P or not to P):
1. Personalization
This is when we think we are to blame for a situation, or we did something, but sometimes there are circumstances outside of us, out of our control, i.e. it’s not all about us 😉
2. Permanence
This is when we think the situation will never end and that it will always be like this, but as Einstein said, ‘time is relative’. Change will come, and if we can see this is only a part of the whole we can create more emotional and mental space for ourselves.
3. Pervasiveness
This is when we take one challenge we face and somehow apply it to every area of our life instead of just seeing it as that one area that is challenging…
Identify a situation in your life and ask yourself the following questions:
1. Have I caused this or is it external? If I did have a part in it then what can I do to correct it?
2. Is this a situation that will go on forever? How long have I been going through this and does it make sense to believe that it will be like this for the rest of my life?
3. Is this challenge affecting my whole life now or is it really just one isolated event? Are there other areas of my life that work?
The 3 P’s help to direct our thinking towards more resilience, and to not get trapped in a rigid and hopeless mindset, which is so easy these days.
If you are struggling to practice resilience right now, consider the 3 P’s and apply them to your thinking.
Don’t allow your challenges to stretch you out so much that you feel completely tight and rigid…loosen up a bit by asking expansive and realistic questions.