We have all been through some hard times.
We have all been through tough moments with others; tense moments and maybe even memories. We all have people. Would you agree that a lot of your tense moments and memories come from people in your life that has been more traumatic to you than others? Family, friends, or even romantic partners.
Let’s just say it; there are certain people out there who hurt you.
Only you know why, or maybe you don’t. But, maybe you feel in your heart there is this hole. A gap, a tear, whatever you want to call it. And the thing about this hole (I will call it a hole) is that it just does not seem to close.
Have you ever had a situation with someone that seemed awfully familiar to a past situation with someone?
The person is different, but the circumstances are just-a-little-bit-too-déjà-vu-ee.
You tripped over your hole!
It is like when we drive over a pothole so hard we get a puncture. It is the same with when we repeat a situation with someone to try and fill some need in us that we think the other person will be able to fill; and when we realize that they just don’t fill that need we get a ‘puncture’; a lot of disappointment and hurt, and a hole that is not filled.
And then we get over it, we fix the ‘puncture’, and then it happens again! We trip over the same hole, again! What is going on?! What the hole!
Sometimes we look for something or someone outside us to fill the hole, but that does not fulfill us permanently. Until we learn that only we can fill that hole we are going to keep on tripping over it getting ‘punctures’.
So how do you fix a pothole? It is filled with the right stuff that will prevent it from opening up again.
What can you fill the hole with that will prevent it from opening up again?
Only you know deep in your heart what you need for this hole, and if you don’t know, maybe you need to acknowledge that there is a hole first? And from there do the work necessary to fill it and ultimately be fulfilled.
Sometimes we can’t do it alone either, so if you need help reach out to someone you trust.
Put out the Stop sign and cordon off the area around the hole, grab a shovel, and start working on it.
You are not alone.
Don’t fall in your hole. Fill your hole.
Ali