The other day I took my shopping bags out of a friend’s car to go home. An old man that lives in the same complex as me walked up to me and offered to carry my bags.
He was resolute on helping me.
I was resolute on saying, ‘Ah shame, don’t worry, I can manage’ (or something to that effect).
It made me think: the first thing this lovely and kind man went for was my ‘baggage’: to help me. The first thing I went for was my baggage: no don’t help me.
How often do we do this? Say no when help comes along or when opportunities come along?
Even if it is as simple as someone just lending a helping hand.
It is almost as if we feel bad when someone offers us something; maybe we believe deep down we don’t deserve help? Or we just don’t want to inconvenience the other person (even though they offered!) or maybe we have control issues and we like to feel in control of all our stuff.
We don’t need help, thank you though.
However, are there any benefits in saying yes instead?
By accepting, be it help, gifts, compliments or opportunities, we allow ourselves to connect with the other person. We allow ourselves to connect with the flow of life.
By accepting, we feed ourselves with a more enriching experience with another human being.
We don’t know what will be on the other side of that yes. By accepting, we say yes to something and that yes could lead to a new relationship, job opportunity or just a new perspective.
Saying no closes the flow.
We have become so good at declining in our lives that it’s become hard to accept.
It’s almost as if it is our default to say no because we are so accustomed to something going wrong or maybe someone is out to hurt us in some way.
What if we practice acceptance more than resistance?
Obviously we have to be discerning of what we say yes to. Don’t go saying yes to something that can hurt you. It is also ok to say no too. By also saying no to certain things we say yes to our own well-being.
It’s the smaller yesses that make a big difference.
Next time someone offers help, will you accept and allow more connection with the other person? If you decline, what part of you is declining?
Ali